Announcing the Death of sgold@leyco.ca

Photo belongs to www.ShelleyGoldbeck.com

Photo belongs to www.ShelleyGoldbeck.com

Last week I killed my old email address, after 16 years of faithful service.

It was diseased with SPAM. No email filters, no rules, nothing could stem the tide of unsolicited messages interrupting my days, every five minutes.

On my home computer it wasn’t so problematic. Besides the 100 or so messages I screened out each day, the junk mail folder would silently fill to three hundred in a couple days. I might glance through it to ensure a real message hadn’t been misidentified or I might simply “select all” and delete.

But when I travelled email was a royal pain. The same junk mail filters don’t apply to webmail. I had to physically remove each and every message. A click or two is no big deal until multiplied by 300!

The really tricky part is if you have to pay for every bit of data. When I have no access to internet I use my iPhone as a hotspot. It’s wonderful technology but make no mistake: I pay!

(Telecommunication companies have us in their death grip. We rely on our devices for business and pleasure. Our provider choices are limited and they seem to be in cahoots, offering little that’s different from each other. But that rant will wait for another day).

Every minute I spend trashing my emails costs me money. Wasting money irks me.

I was compelled to take action on my email situation.  My email address had to die.

It was a perfect time to better organize my email life. I subscribe to many online newsletters, groups and services, mostly nice to know but not crucial. I decided to send the non-urgent to my new g-mail address, accessible from anywhere, but not in my face on my computer.

My main email is for my friends, family and acquaintances and my favourite newsletters. Anyone can always contact me through my websites so any worry about losing touch has dissipated.

But here’s something weird: I somehow miss all that spam. Not that I ever read or responded to any of it, but the recurring appearance of red numbers indicating the messages waiting in my inbox was part of my daily routine. I was always on a mission to get my inbox free of the unnecessary, which, now that I reflect on it, likely contributed to my tendency to procrastinate: a distraction, a diversion, a non-task to take focus from my real tasks.

It just occurred to me: I’m no more advanced than Pavlov’s dog, responding to the bell of my inbox!

As stupid as it sounds, now that SPAM is gone, I have a sense of loss. Is it that I’m suddenly not nearly as popular as I thought I was? Or maybe it’s because clearing my inbox was woven into the fabric of my life. The human brain is astounding. We often miss the terrible, even the annoying. I suppose that explains how victims of abuse can be so conflicted about their aggressors (love/hate) and actually miss them when they’re apart. Stockholm Syndrome is another example.

Now what to do with all that found time?

That’s no problem. I constantly bemoan my limited time, no doubt, inextricably linked to my overly ambitious to-do list. I have a new project overview pasted to my office wall which I expect will help me focus on necessary tasks. I think of it as a junk filter for my tasks list.

I have one less excuse for not working towards completing my projects.

Wait! There are two new messages in my inbox! Later!

Freedom 55

freedom55Originally published May 17, 2013

Today I turned 55. Actually at 5AM.

Before 9AM I had already received at least a dozen birthday greetings, thanks to modern technology: phones, emails, and Facebook.

Like most people having a major birthday I’ve been contemplating my life the last few days. I have some random thoughts about it.

My first thought is I’m half-way through my life. It may seem ambitious but I feel like I’m 30 so I have every reason to believe I can live to 110, at which point I should feel like I’m 60.

Deciding to live that long is liberating. You see, sometimes I get in a panic that I won’t have enough time to do everything I want to do before I die. Now I do.

I have big plans. I feel like everything I’ve done in the first 55 years has groomed me for the marvelous things I will do in my next 55 years. I have achieved some impressive accomplishments but I’m more excited about my future potential.

You may find it strange that I think of 55 as a beginning. Many folks work for Freedom 55, when they can stop working. For me retirement is not an option. It seems to me that when people quit having purpose in their lives they die.  Of course, working for The Man is not always a good thing. But working at something is one of the keys to longevity, at least in my observation.

55 can be scary. I’m now in the final demographic, 55+, commonly used by surveys and radio stations. The connotation is that everybody older than 55 doesn’t matter as much as the targeted 18 to 24 or 25 to 54 groups that can be counted on to spend lavishly on consumer goods.

We 55-plus-ers are not good consumers. First of all we have accumulated a lot of stuff so far. There is little that we need.

More importantly we now know the secret that stuff doesn’t bring happiness.

We’re more apt to crave time than things, time to spend with people who matter, time to write or read those books, time to enjoy a sunrise with an avian symphony soundtrack.

When you’re young, time seems to be an endless commodity. When you’re 15, you have so much of it that you can actually claim to be bored! Boredom is rarely experienced by a 55 year-old.

At 55, money is different too. We still need it to live but we tend to no longer live to need it. Creature comforts are less appealing, perhaps because we have everything we need and more. I’m more interested in making money so I can share it and do good deeds with it. I’m focused more than ever on the legacy I will leave.

How does a 55 year old celebrate this auspicious birthday? The long weekend forced the delay until Tuesday of the traditional May 17 lunch where I meet with four of my friends who share my birthday.

Today I’m going for lunch with an elderly friend who recently battled cancer. She seems to be winning. We will celebrate our victories: we’re both still alive!

I intend to spend a few hours in my garden this afternoon. It’s my meditation.

I decided that what I really wanted for my birthday was to spend some of my precious time with my four girls, my two daughters and two granddaughters, the Grandtoys. We plan to tour the country popping in on friends and relatives.

At this stage in my life, I am all about connections: connections with family and old friends, connections with strangers who are potential new friends. I love the truth that we are all connected.

As the years add up I’m figuring out what really matters.

Maybe that’s the real Freedom 55.