Good-Bye Alison Redford

RedfordA few weeks ago my eight-year-old grandtoy, J___ proudly announced that Premier Alison Redford had lunch with her class.  Redford was doing PR for the new schools recently announced.

“I talked to her!” J___ beamed.

I imagine J___ whispering in Alison’s ear, redhead to redhead, “You know, we all have to follow the rules. When you break the rules it’s just not fair to others.”

Or maybe she said, “$45,000 on a trip!? To a funeral!?  Our school needs….”

I like to imagine J___’s words of wisdom prompting the premier to repay that $45,000 reputedly spent on attending Mandela’s funeral. Perhaps she needed to be there. Regardless, it does seem excessive.

This week I teased J___ that all was well in the Province of Alberta until our premier spent time with her class. Now everything’s awry.

J___ vaguely understands my teasing but has no clue about the impact Alison Redford’s abrupt resignation will have on the province.

My opinion of Alison Redford is irrelevant now. She will go down in history as Alberta’s first female premier. Frankly, I can’t recall anything else for which she could be remembered.

Oh, there is one thing: I am dismayed that we’ve returned to deficit spending, after years of sacrificing to balance the budget. Sorry, Alison; that’s what I remember.

Strangely, a number have people have asked me about my political aspirations this past week. I guess “women in politics” is on their minds.

Part of me is tempted because I would love to make a difference in the world, fix problems, apply common sense to government.

But much like the happily-ever-after-marriage fairytale, I have little faith in politicians’ ability to do what’s right for us and it has almost nothing to do with their will.

Our systems of government are flawed, far from fair (or democratic) and conducive to sucking the very souls out of their participants.

Look at pictures of past presidents and prime ministers. After eight years in office, they’ve aged 20 years!

This is not a coincidence.

Politics is a nasty job. I know. I once worked for a Member of Parliament. He was a wonderful man with the highest of ideals but the system and his own friends’ betrayal severely hurt him. I learned that bureaucrats have more power than politicians. I also learned to never trust the media, but that’s another story.

The most altruistic individual can go to Ottawa or Washington, or wherever the “capital” is, and be sucked into the vortex of toe-ing the party line or pleasing the lobbyists, with no heed to the will of the electorate. The crooked seem to thrive; the upright struggle.

Then there are the games, some of which are legislated. For example: years of Senate crap! We know it sucks money. We know it’s ineffective. We know it’s not fair. But the games prohibit us from fixing it.

People often lament the lack of women in politics.

I say, most women I know are too smart to want a job in politics!

The hours are long. In Canada, the travel can be arduous. You read endless boring documents (if you’re doing your job) and attend endless committee meetings. You have enemies everywhere: opposition, journalists, in-party saboteurs. One slip of the tongue can finish your political career. You must play games but no rulebooks are procured nor are there referees.

You’re under constant scrutiny, especially if you are a woman. In fact a woman in politics must be immaculately dressed and groomed to command respect, whereas Ralph Klein was endeared for his rumpled bowling ball look!

My skin’s not thick enough for me to be in politics. I am far too sensitive. I know it’s not about me but I would be hurt. I know that I work best in an atmosphere of collaboration. A building with a section for the “official opposition”, to me, screams of impotence.

Worst of all you can’t ever please your constituents. Half will revile you for supporting something; the other half for not supporting it. You can’t win.

That is why there aren’t more women in politics.

I also believe that it’s easier to change the world outside of politics. The best change is bottom up. It starts in the hearts and minds of individuals. They get inspired to inspire others and then the people demand change.

I read a book about the history of champagne this week. It struck me that the many French revolts that brought positive change in the long run were started at the bottom. The politicians at the top were powerless to stop the ensuing tsunami.

I don’t blame Alison Redford for leaving her job. Reports are she didn’t have the support of her party.  She hasn’t seemed to be having loads of fun: barking and bullying accusations abound, sure signs of unhappiness.

Regardless of our job level, most of us get to a place at some time, where we’re no longer having any fun. The dirty parts of the job are not sufficiently balanced with perks.

I suspect giving back $45,000 could severely skew one’s perspective of fun.

Good-bye, Alison. Our family will remember you as the red-haired first female Premier of Alberta who had lunch with J___ and then ran away.

For a lighter look and politics click here…

What is Politics

politics

Just a few small digs, all patently true, ….

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes

from the poor and campaign funds from the rich,

by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Am ringer, “the Mark Twain of American Socialism.”

I offered my opponents a deal:

“if they stop telling lies about me,

I will stop telling the truth about them”.

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

A politician is a fellow who will lay down

your life for his country.

~Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious

a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city,

it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)

We hang petty thieves and appoint the bigger thieves to public office.

~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over.

They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become PM;

I’m beginning to believe it.

~Quoted in ‘Clarence Darrow for the Defense’ by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who,

when they see light at the end of the tunnel,

go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton, American actor/writer

What happens if a politician drowns in a river?

That is pollution.

What happens if all of them drown?

That is a solution ….!!!

Impromptu Writing Exercise

changecompanieA couple weeks ago I entered a writing challenge issued by Don Kuhl, author of one of my favourite weekly emails from www.changecompanies.net. The challenge was to write about a time when you got “back on the horse” after a business failure in 250 words or less.

Today I got word that I didn’t win, but that my story was among Don’s favourites. Thought I would share my story and the feedback with you.

Here is my submission:

When I was a child my dad bought some wild horses. One mustang spent my entire tenth birthday unceremoniously unseating me, repeatedly. I stubbornly remounted, repeatedly. Good preparation for business life!

In 2004 my partner and I bought five houses by any means we could muster, on a hunch the market was rising. We furnished them, rented weekly to businessmen, collected premium rental rates and watched our investments appreciate monthly!

By 2007, we had $2.5 million in assets, only $900,000 of debt.

Time to sell!

We debated it ad nauseum. But we were making good money!

adnauseam

We didn’t sell.

Housing crisis arrived. Prices dropped. Rents dropped. Demand dropped.

We hung on too long and were eventually cornered into selling in low markets. We narrowly escaped bankruptcy by selling the last house last spring. We now rent that house from its owner.

What did we learn?

Greed kills.

Timing is everything.

Know when to let go.

There’s no shame in failing.

It’s the journey, not the destination.

Find a need. Find way to meet that need. Work at it.

I have been pursuing a career as a writer and professional speaker. I recently stumbled upon another need.

I now provide coaching and classes to people with English as a Second Language so they can improve their pronunciation, be more productive and boost the bottom line.

I reinvented myself, developing a new career in my ‘50’s!

The ride has been exhilarating; I’m not ready to be put to pasture.

248 words.

Hi Shelley,

My name is Scott Provence and I work with Don in preparing his Mindful Midweek each Wednesday. Don was kind enough to share in confidence with me a small selection of favorite stories from his recent MM writing exercise, and your piece was one in this group.

Although it was not selected for one of the three prizes, I wanted to send you a personal message thanking you for sharing this story. It’s spirit spoke to both of us, and we want to recognize the courage it took, both to “get back on the horse” and also to share this experience.

Thank you for your support of Mindful Midweek, and for embodying the courage and creative writing Don and I aspire to.

Take care,

Scott Provence

Vice President of Product Development

The Change Companies ®

http://www.changecompanies.net

 

Daylight Saving Time

daylight-savings-day_1394069406A little research about Daylight Saving Time first yielded the fact that Daylight Savings Time (with an S) is apparently incorrect.

I’ve been using the wrong word all these years, so I’ll have to train myself to say it right, although it might be more aptly referred to as Deprived of Sleeping Time or Daylight Stressful Time.

Last year I was responsible for getting my grandkids to school on Tuesday after Daylight Saving Time and it was almost impossible to wake ten-year-old R. We made it to school in the nick of time after a rush-around morning that had me more tightly wound than a piano string.

I am generally not in favour of Daylight Saving Time. It was initially proposed to save energy in the evening hours during wartime, when rationing of energy was part of the war effort. There were times when energy probably was saved, but nowadays, the majority of North Americans are usually parked in front of the TV set in the evenings. Lighting accounts for only a tiny percentage of our energy usage, so little energy is saved.

Growing up on a farm, I remember adults saying Daylight Saving Time was for golfers. That theory went out the window when I discovered that Arizona is one of the few North American jurisdictions (along with Saskatchewan, Hawaii and Puerto Rico) that doesn’t participate. I was surprised because, of course, there are proportionately more golf courses and golfers in Arizona than almost anywhere else. So much for that theory.

When my kids were little, I cursed Daylight Saving Time. It’s almost impossible to get kids to go to bed when the sun is still high in the sky. “But Mom! It’s not dark out!  We can’t sleep.” West facing windows in their bedrooms added to the problem.

Living in the North is definitely a factor; I can understand that southern states could use that extra hour but the sun is up until well after 10PM without Daylight Saving Time in Alberta’s capital.  Do we really need to be up until almost midnight? I suspect we do it because (almost) the rest of the continent does it.

I’ve always felt Daylight Saving Time plays havoc with my sleep. It turns out my intuition was onto something. According to a study conducted by researchers from the Ludwig-Maximilians University in Munich, Germany, Daylight Saving Time throws off the body’s sleep rhythms for 20 percent of the year (that’s two and a half months!); disruptions in sleep patterns have adverse effects on the immune system.

I saw a study a few years ago by an insurance association that found motor vehicle accidents rose sharply the Monday after Daylight Saving Time Sunday in the spring, presumably because the average driver was deprived of 40 minutes of sleep. Conversely, accident rates fall slightly the Monday after the “fall back”. There is some evidence that there are fewer accidents in the evenings during the summer because of the additional daylight.

In 2007, the US decided to alter the day of the change and Canada followed suit. It used to be “Spring Forward” the first Sunday of April and “Fall Back” the last Sunday in October. Now I’m not sure what the rule is, except for the Spring Forward and Fall Back concepts, which surprisingly, many people still don’t grasp, despite our practicing Daylight Saving Time for decades.

Since 2005, Kyrgyzstan, a little country wedged between China, Kazakhstan, and Uzbekistan, has been on year-round Daylight Saving Time. I’ve often thought this would be a good idea, since it’s the Change that makes Daylight Saving Time objectionable to me. The problem, here in the north, is that in the winter the kids would be going to school in pitch darkness, although even without Daylight Saving Time they basically are anyway.

It has occurred to me to petition the government to cease participating in Daylight Saving Time, but I doubt it’s worth dying on that hill. The mass confusion, especially for business with US relations, would likely kill that idea. (I have a friend in Saskatchewan and I never know what time it is there). If you choose to start such a movement you can count on me to sign your petition.

The best strategy for me to get through the “Change” is to plan to go to bed early until my brain adjusts.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and wrung out over the next few weeks, blame Daylight Saving Time.

Daylight-Saving-Spring-Forward 

 

Officially we lose our hour at 2AM Sunday, March 9, 2014. I generally change my clocks when I go to bed Saturday night so I’m not chronically late all day!

Diaper Cake (Reader requested repeat)

diapercake1

Photo owned by www.shelleygoldbeck.com

Throwing a baby shower for a friend who was having twin boys was very likely a once-in-a-lifetime event for me, so I wanted to do something really memorable. The added challenge was that she already had two children so she had most of her baby needs covered.

Somewhere nestled in the recesses of my mind was the idea of a statue or display made of diapers. A quick search on the internet revealed a number of interesting sites with instructions and pictures of “diaper cakes” readers had made.

After studying the process and looking at scores of images I jumped in and created a Diaper Cake.

Constructing a diaper cake is relatively simple, requiring only a few items. Diapers must be rolled tightly and secured with rubber bands. Large rubber bands hold everything together. The rest of the “ingredients” are pretty much up to you. Here is a list of ingredients I used:

  • Pizza pan
  • 110 Newborn disposable diapers
  • 4 receiving blankets
  • 6 pairs baby socks
  • 2 newborn long-sleeved onesies
  • 2 sleepers 0-3
  • 6 washcloths
  • 2 diaper shirts
  • 8 bibs
  • 2 “key” teething rings (BPA free)
  • 4 soft spoons (BPA free)
  • 2 baby bottles (BPA free)
  • 6 pacifiers (BPA free)
  • 2 Baby Safe Feeders (2 refills)
  • 2 pacifier clips
  • Organic Baby Shampoo*
  • Organic Baby Body Lotion
  • Baby Bum Balm
  • 4 Bright and Early Cardboard Books
  • Baby Faces Album
  • Candy for big brother and sister
  • Bath & Body GC for Mom!
  • Ribbon for decorating

 

This is how I made my diaper cake:

I wrapped a new pizza pan in a receiving blanket. In the centre, I placed a large (round) bottle of organic baby shampoo*. Using elastic bands, I wrapped the stray ends of the receiving blanket snugly around the bottle. Then I placed about six or eight rolled diapers (secured with an elastic band) around the bottle and put a large rubber band around the entire ring of diapers, securing the bottle tightly to the pan.

Next, I formed a second ring by placing diapers around the first ring of diapers. I completed it by placing a large rubber band around the second ring. Then I repeated for the third ring. I incorporated three more receiving blankets into the outside ring of the bottom layer by rolling them into similar sized rolls as the diapers. I also included some bibs into this layer; then I wrapped a huge ribbon around the whole bottom to hide the elastics and secure the rings.

 

I continued building layers, repeating the basic ring-making instructions. I incorporated sleepers, onesies and more bibs into the outside rings of each layer. For the third and fourth layers, I added a bottle of organic baby lotion on top of the shampoo bottle and built rings around it as I did for the first two layers.

 

diapercake2

Photo owned by www.shelleygoldbeck.com

Tips: Put the rubber band for each ring of diapers around the center first and then slide in the diapers. It is very difficult to set diapers up and then hold them in place while you put a rubber band around them. When you’re rolling the diapers, make sure they’re not banded too tightly as they won’t stack as well and they could be damaged.

 

Once the structure was complete, then came the fun part: decorating my cake! I added little baby items like pacifiers, teething rings, baby hygiene products, toys, books, bum balm, etc. I placed them between the folds of the diapers, slid them under the elastics, and tucked the larger items into the outer layer of ribbon. I made “bows” out of baby washcloths and trimmed the base with six pairs of little socks. I topped it off with two BPA-free bottles supported by four baby spoons and tons of ribbon curls.

 

I even added candy for the twins’ older siblings and a gift card for Mom to pamper herself.

 

This was a really fun and easy project that even children could do with a little guidance. It took me about five hours.

It turned out that it wasn’t a once in a lifetime venture. Eight months later I made another diaper cake for another colleague having twins! (We were all afraid to drink the water!) That time I spent less than two hours constructing the cake. I started it with a big basket instead of a pizza pan.

Showing up at a baby shower with a diaper cake will dazzle the new mom and make her feel special. Plus it’s fun dismantling a diaper cake and discovering its hidden treasures.

See more pictures and instructions online by searching “diaper cakes”.

Originally published: November 2011

Edited: February 2014

 (*Recently reported that Johnson’s Bay Shampoo contains carcinogenic substances.  European versions apparently don’t have these compounds but Johnson & Johnson refuses to change the North American formula.)

diapercake4

Photo owned by www.shelleygoldbeck.com

http://www.naturalnews.com/034036_shampoos_cancer-causing_chemicals.html

diapercake3

Photo owned by www.shelleygoldbeck.com

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.  Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing; start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,… just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

600 Books

booksA recent vacation enabled me to exceed my January reading goal of 22 books, to get me to 600 books in seven years and one month.

It was an ambitious goal spawned by one of my long-term goals, to read 1000 books in ten years. I realized I would be wise to plan for “reading spurts” in the next three years whenever I have a block of time that I can devote to reading. (I can’t help but wonder if I’m crazy: 400 books in three years!)

Vacations are good for reading spurts because airports require early arrival and flights themselves are rather boring apart from takeoff and landing. I often have completed my first vacation book before I get off the plane. I used to dread the whole flying process. Now I look forward to it.

Just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean I can sleep in. I often have hours of reading before my hubby rises. To him, sleeping in is the definition of vacation.

And just because we’re on vacation doesn’t mean he’ll watch less television. With him engaged by the tube, I often have several hours of reading at the end of the day too.

People ask me about the best books I’ve read. At 600 it’s a good time to reflect and share some of the great moments.

I’ve read several series. My all-time favourite is the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. I enjoyed Jean M Auel’s Clan of the Cave Bear series, which I knew about long before I read. Harry Potter, Twilight and Hunger Games were other series I read, just so I could stay culturally current with the children and young adults in my life.

Yan Martel’s Life of Pi and Garth Stein’s The Art of Racing in the Rain are two of my favourite novels. I also enjoy reading anything by Mitch Albom. Steig Larsson’s Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series grabbed my interest.

I read a lot of business books. I like Tom Peter’s and Malcolm Gladwell’s books as well as Roy H Williams’, Wizard of Ads books. Last year I read many books on professional speaking and found Paid to Speak by various NSA members very valuable.

My favourite self-help books are by Neale Donald Walsch, his Conversations with God series. The first book was life-changing for me and my daughter, coming to us months before a year of nine funerals among our family and friends.

My Book Club keeps me reading all the latest and greatest and I’ve read many of the classics in the last seven years. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the Tarzan of the Apes series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. It was also interesting to read a number of Ian Fleming’s James Bond books.

I have posted my reading list for each year on this site. I am always glad to talk about books. Contact me if you want to start a conversation about your favourite author or book. Happy reading.

My tips for reading more:

1)   Make reading a priority and seek ways to incorporate reading into your day.

2)   Carry a book in your purse or car or electronically on your favourite device. Read whenever you have to wait.

3)   Skip watching one TV program everyday. Read instead.

4)   Read first thing in the morning and last thing before bed.

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy – Larry the Cable Guy says…

A day without sunshine is like night

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’

Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

Light travels faster than sound.. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . . . it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Universal Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability
 -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

4. Law of Random Numbers
 – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi
 – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law
 – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath
 – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters
 -The probability of meeting someone you know   increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result
 – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics – 
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena 
– At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last.  They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance.  The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law 
– As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers 
– If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces
 – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument
 – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
 – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
 – A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
 – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors’ Law
 – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

7 Year Olds Take on Beer

‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’
–Tim, 7 years old

‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.’
–Melanie, 7 years old

‘My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’
–Grady, 7 years old

‘My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’
–Toby, 7 year old

‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.’
–Sarah, 7 years old

‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances..
One time he danced right into the pool.’
–Lilly, 7 years old

‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.’
–Ethan, 7 years old

‘I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.’
–Shirley, 7 years old