The Wisdom of the Enneagram

enneagramHave you ever bought a car, one you think is unique and as soon as you own it, you notice the same model everywhere you go?

The Enneagram (pronounced ANy-a-gram) is like that for me. A fellow member of my speaking mastermind group suggested I read the Wisdom of the Enneagram when I was wrestling, yet again this spring, with what to be when I grow up.

I borrowed the book from the library and answered 75 quiz questions for each of the nine personality types. I later learned they are available online, see http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Over the last three decades I’ve taken a number of personality tests, Myers-Briggs-type measurements of who I am. Some measure me in colours, (I am blue or green or red, depending on the test). Some peg me by letters, CV or IF. Others use animal names to describe the personality types: owls and otters come to mind. Some tests are like horoscopes.

No test has ever come as close to pegging me as the Enneagram did.

In June, I signed up for some ten-minute business coaching. To my surprise, my coach was familiar with Enneagram. She was able to suggest actions to improve my habits that fit with who I am. She helped me focus on my gifts and find tools to work around my weaker areas.

Here is what the Enneagram has taught me so far: I am a Seven, the Enthusiast. I love new beginnings. One of my obstacles to success is my propensity not to finish things, and Enneagram said, especially educational pursuits.

It’s true. I’ve taken several courses and never written the exams so I could get the piece of paper. The knowledge has always been what interests me; the accolades are less important.

But accolades and various pieces of paper matter to the world, especially when one is a leader and expected to show proof of one’s ability to do the job.

A light came on for me. I had agonized whether I would finish my Toastmasters path. I had just one project to go to achieve Distinguished Toastmaster, (DTM), a rather arduous one-year commitment to mentor four Toastmasters clubs. I decided to change my life: to get my DTM by the end of the Toastmasters 2014-2015 season. I’m already three months into the year commitment. And I will finish.

The final bit on synergy I want to share with you (remember that new car?): a few weeks ago I attended a business women’s networking meeting where I met Eileen Head, a lovely woman who spoke about her failed 35 year marriage and how she was using the Enneagram to help others heal their relationships.

Having survived two failed marriages myself, it wasn’t hard for me to imagine how much more enhanced relationships would be if we understood ourselves better. Truly knowing the way others see life would make it easier to collaborate and reach mutually beneficial solutions.

I’ve included a link to Eileen’s business. www.EileenHead.com I urge you to discover your own Enneagram and consider calling on Eileen to help you heal your relationships using this amazing tool.

The best part for me about Enneagram was its declaration of my greatest gift: the joy of living. This is so true of me and now that I know it for sure, I look for ways to celebrate and help others celebrate life everyday.

There is wisdom in the Enneagram.

 

100 Books in 2014

PhilomenaMy book club read the book Philomena, by Martin Sixsmith and we met to discuss this week. The book is purported to be about a mother’s search for her adopted son. But the majority of the book is about her son trying to find himself and his birth mother. It should be called Anthony. We chatted about the themes in the book. The consensus was lukewarm.

For me, the book is monumental, not for itself but that it’s the 100th book I’ve read this year. That seems like a mountain of books, but honestly, since beginning my reading mission in 2007, this has been the easiest year to meet my goals.

(If your eyes glaze over when you see numbers, skip the next two paragraphs).

In 2007 and for the next two years, I read a book a week. Partway through 2010, I realized I was reading two books per week so that became my new goal for 2010 to 2013. At the start of 2014, I had read 579 books since 2007. With a bit more effort I knew I could get to 700 in 2014.

Then I decided, why not strive for 1000 books in ten years? That meant I had to read 421 books in three years, 140 books per year. The hundredth book puts me at 679 so far. 321 books with 28 months to go: 2.5 books per week. Let’s call it three.

It may seem obsessive, but it’s quite exhilarating to be accumulating knowledge on a wide variety of topics, including health, business, politics, marketing, speaking, writing, spirituality, food, gardening, real estate, self-help, history, various other non-fiction, poetry, and even a few novels.

People are shocked to learn of my reading habits. It has become such an integral part of me, I’m not as impressed as I once was. Here are my tips for those who desire to read more.

Make reading a priority. We all waste time every day. If you truly love to read you will find some wasted time. And read!

Carry a book. I always have one in my purse because I realized much of my wasted time is waiting…in line at banks and supermarkets, at appointments, even at restaurants and coffee shops when clients are late. (I sometimes purposely get there really early so I can read a few chapters!) I read about two “purse” books each month.

I also have partly read books throughout my house: one where I sit in the living room, one on my nightstand, sometimes, one in the kitchen. I rarely read two novels simultaneously. The last time I tried, one book had a man who had lost a daughter and the other had a woman who had lost a son; I had a hard time staying on track: which book am I reading?

Trade TV watching for reading. The average North American watches 35 hours of TV each week, a full-time job! Watch one less hour of TV each day and devote that time to reading. At one hour a day, everybody can read one or two books a month. Soon your books will call you away from most TV.

Schedule reading times. My husband likes to sleep in on weekends. I usually can’t sleep past eight. So I read for two hours, keeping the house quiet for my sleepyhead husband. I often read a novel on a Sunday afternoon. On vacations, I plan to read a book each day. Airports are a great place to read books since so much waiting is required. And a four hour flight whizzes by when a mystery is unfolding in your hands. I can usually read a book before I get there and one to get home.

I appreciate e-books when I travel. Before I go, I load up my iPad with books. I always bring a couple real books because airlines won’t let me use electronics on take-off and landing which can last many “chapters”. Sometimes I take books with me I don’t expect to want to keep so can I leave them behind in public places, surprises for strangers.

I naturally read more in winter as I’m not distracted by my garden, golfing and summer socializing! I guess that’s one good thing about living in Calgary: long winters for reading. (As I write this on September 8, it is snowing!)

Start with one book. Many despair that they could ever read three books a week! Start with one a month. Then two. You will become a faster reader. That’s what happened to me. I got faster so now I can read more. I can read 100 pages per hour unless the font is miniscule or the language archaic.

I have no idea when this will stop. But I have a list of over 400 books to read, books recommended by somebody I respect, and there’s so much to explore at the library, I expect to keep reading. The number doesn’t really matter. It’s just fun to challenge myself and then reach those goals.

Keep a record. One of the best things I’ve done is to keep a spreadsheet record of my reading. I record the dates I read the book, the title, author, source, who referred it to me, and whether I’d read again, recommend, want in my library or am happy I read it. I also include a description or any quotes that grabbed me. Very valuable. I often forget whether I’ve read a particular book. I simply search my spreadsheet. Also when people ask me to recommend books, I can remind myself of my favourites and choose books I think will be appropriate.

Use your library! If I had bought every book new, I would have spent $20,000 so far! ($30 x 679 books). But I didn’t. I borrowed most books. Bought many used for $2 or less. Got some as gifts. And bought a few new, often at discount at Costco or as e-books. I estimate I’ve spent less than $700, including gift cards I’ve received, in nearly eight years, about $90/yr.

Join or start a book club: Your reading list will expand when others add to it. There is nothing more fun than discussing a great book with others who’ve just feasted on it too. My club has led me to read books I never would have thought to read. Some are among my all-time favourites.

One of the most important gifts you can give yourself is making time to read. Your knowledge will begin to expand immediately. Your vocabulary will grow: I’ve calculated I learn about 20 new words from every book I read. Reading strengthens your writing. I’m convinced I’ve improved.

One of my few regrets in life was not having a degree. One day I discovered a quote to the effect that everything is written down in books. If one can read, one can be educated. That made sense to me and I haven’t looked back.

Most people think I am educated in the traditional sense, often inquiring about my education history. I proudly tell them that my school is Life and my degree is self-directed and on-going. Then I tell them about the number of books I read and/or have read. It impresses. But it doesn’t matter to me. I do this for me, not to impress (unless someone is being elitist and snooty, then I might indulge in some chest beating).

I’m enjoying my book journey. Won’t you join me?

Reading Record 2013: Includes Tips to Read More Books

booksAt 10 PM on December 31, 2013 I finished my 104th book of 2013, achieving my ambitious reading goals for the seventh straight year.

My life continues to be enriched beyond my expectations because of a decision I made seven years ago to read a book each week.

Three years later, it became two books per week.

I’ve toyed with upping it to three each week but if the goal is too arduous, it may no longer appeal and I am sure to flounder. I’m shooting for 1000 books in ten years, which means I have just over three years to read 422 books. I’ll give it a go and see what happens. In the short-term I plan to read 22 books in January 2014, to reach an even 600.

Let me tell you about the last 104 (in 2013) of the 578 books I read from January 2007 to December 2013.

In past years I have read about 50% fiction and 50% non-fiction. This year fiction accounted for only 30% of my reading. Another 25% are particular to business and marketing. A significant number are health related.

At the beginning of 2013 I set out to read some important works, including The Holy Bible, The Holy Quran and The Book of Mormon. I was intrigued to see for myself what these influential books had to say. I was surprised by the Quran’s early references to respecting Jews and those who follow Jesus, leaving me to wonder from where the “kill the infidel” mentality comes.

In an unusual move, I finally abandoned the Book of Mormon after reading 60% of it. I could no longer force my eyes to look at words that carried no real meaning or purpose. I actually avoided books for a month because I dreaded getting back to The Book of Mormon. I wonder how many of my Mormon friends have read it cover to cover. For the record, it is just the second book I’ve abandoned in seven years.

I didn’t get to the Bible until January 2014; one of the few goals I missed in 2013. I have read most of it many times but have I never gone cover to cover. (So far, I’m at Numbers!)

I read some great titles suggested by my book club, including A House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout, a woman from my hometown, on her kidnapping and confinement in Somalia for over a year.

As always my book club expanded my reading horizons. These ladies are like sisters because we’ve shared so many experiences and had so many heart-to-hearts, usually, but not always related to our book of the month. I value our book discussions and the connections they spawn. Another highlight of my year was visiting a friend’s club and seeing the way they conduct their meetings. (They have rules! No non-fiction!)

Many of the best books I read this year were about speaking and writing, as I continually hone those skills. Paid to Speak (various authors) was a real gem. I recommend it for everyone, not just speakers. A friend loaned me Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg, and The Right to Write, by Julia Cameron. I plan to buy copies for myself. Coveting it for my own library is a sure sign of a book’s value.

I read 16 books on my nine-day vacation to the cottage, catching up on some classics like The Secret Garden and re-reading Heidi, a book I enjoyed reading when I was eight years old. Many of the classic titles are available for free online and they’re easy to carry in your favourite electronic device, perfect for vacations. I love paper books but e-books have their uses.

On another week vacation, I read ten books including some John Grisham novels. I enjoyed them well enough but I won’t seek more of his work.

I read some light stuff like The Sisters Brothers by Canadian author Patrick de Witt and The 100 Year-Old Man who Climbed out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson.

My reading habit sparks interesting conversations wherever I go. People love to tell me about their favourite reads. My to-read list has over 400 titles on it. As I lop off one, other readers suggest another two or three to add to the list.

Reading so much makes me appear to be educated. I suppose I am but I don’t have the piece of paper to verify that I know stuff. No matter. It’s the knowledge and experience I crave, not the recognition.

Reading more does require different behaviour. I always carry a book with me as I encounter many stolen moments to read each day. I estimate that I read a book a month, simply waiting: in lines, for appointments, and for lunch dates or the school bus to arrive. Waiting for and on planes is like winning the reading lottery!

I have several books on the go at any given moment. This prevents “reader’s block”, moments when diving into a technical book doesn’t appeal but a good mystery would hit the spot. I also use technology by sourcing and reading books online.

I set specific times to read, like first thing in the morning, before my day bulldozes me into an unexpected direction. I also read before bed, a great way to quiet the mind and wind down for sleep.

Of course my TV viewing habits are different from others and I rarely see a movie. But I don’t feel the least bit deprived. My world is far richer and more satisfying than if I were mesmerized by mind-numbing so-called reality shows.

My book expenditures are amazingly sparse. I buy a few new ones (usually with gift cards) and a stack or two of used books each year. The rest are borrowed or gifted. I’ve learned to pass on books to others quickly. The more I give away, it seems, the more I receive.

When I started this journey I had no idea what I would experience. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.

I encourage you to set goals to read more books. It doesn’t have to be two per week. It could be one per month. I guarantee it will change your life for the better.

Happy Reading in 2014. Please recommend your favourite books.

See my 2013 list here

See 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007