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Birthday Present

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Shelley 4 yrs old

Shelley’s 4th Birthday www.shelleygoldbeck.com

Throughout my life I have confided that I never had a traditional kid-centered birthday party when I was a child. My birthday was always acknowledged, usually with a dinner and cake at Grandma’s but it was always just family.

Now that I’m at the stage of life where most women are happy to forget about birthdays altogether, my birthday activities have mushroomed. This year, I’ve been celebrating for nearly two weeks and I’m still not done!

The celebrations actually began a few days before my birthday. Over the years, I seem to have collected many friends whose birthdays are near mine. May 13 is the date for four of my friends. One is in Italy, one was too busy that week, one is out of touch, but the fourth and I had a lovely lunch that day.

A new friend treated me to lunch the day before my birthday. She blew me away with her thoughtful gifts and the efforts she took to present them perfectly.

With my big day falling on a long weekend, the May 17 Club decided to celebrate after the weekend. (Yes, there is a club, a group of people I’ve met over the years who share my birthday. See below.) As we all have busy lives, we’re not meeting until Tuesday, a full ten days past our day. But we don’t care. We are happy to catch up with each other once a year.

My birthday began with piles of Facebook and email wishes. Say what you will about the intrusion of internet in our lives but when it’s my birthday and 50 people take the time to send a greeting, it makes me feel pretty special! Those greetings poured in all day and spilled over into the rest of the weekend!

A friend sang “Happy Birthday” on my voicemail and she tracked me down and wished me a happy day. Very good effort!

For the first time in probably 20 years, I celebrated my birthday with my parents, the people responsible for my existence on this planet. My mom cooked a turkey dinner, one of my favourite meals. My sister joined us and brought me a bouquet of flowers. I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten flowers from her.

My daughters and granddaughters took me out for sushi in the evening. One of my favourite activities is to watch my grandtoys eat sushi. Most kids won’t go near it. With my little ones, you have to be rather aggressive with your chopsticks or you might not get any sushi for yourself!

Lunches continued to be lavished upon me all week. I even bought a couple as I celebrated with friends with birthdays after mine. I discovered that another friend’s birthday is the day before mine: we resolved to celebrate together next year.

A close friend surprised me with a handmade, heartfelt gift recognizing my recent accomplishments. I even received a number of old-fashioned, mailed cards, most of which made me laugh. (I’m glad people think of funny when they buy me a card!)

Ideally, I would simply take off two weeks to fit in all the celebrations. But the real world requires that I accomplish tasks despite the parties. Alas! I have neglected thanking everyone for their greetings. Until now, it has seemed premature.

So today, I reflect on the many blessings I have received these past two weeks. I am rich with contacts that take their valuable time to acknowledge me. I have close friends and family eager to spend time with me.

The timing of all this is perfect. Now is the best stage of my life to collect birthday memories. Children inevitably forget the parties, lose touch with friends, and it all ends up a blur.

As an adult, I am aware of the importance of these “touch points”. I am wise enough to ponder them in my heart, revere them, and hold them as precious. Thankfully, my mind is still clear enough to remember them for some time.

Have you ever seen a young child with a mountain of birthday presents? Opening them becomes a chore. Wrapping paper falls away, revealing a carefully chosen gift, only to be glanced at and discarded on the pile to make room for the next present.

As an adult, I open each “gift” with care, examining the wrapping and appreciating the art that went into it. I focus on the spirit of the giver. I hold the gift in my heart and carry it with me forever.

How can I regret birthdays past when birthday present is so rewarding?

Though I may have been short-changed on parties as a child, I’m more than making up for it now.

Isn’t life wonderful?

 

May 17 Birthday Club (originally published May 17, 2009)

This week the May 17 Birthday Club conducted its 20th annual meeting.  It was festive as usual as we all got to soak up an hour or so hanging out with four other people who share little but having been born on the same day.

I first became aware of the club ten years ago when I hired a new assistant.  I was telling my colleague, Paul how amazing it was that the new hire had the same birthday as I do.   I rambled on about how I had never met anyone who shared my birthday.

Paul asked me when my birthday is and when I told him May 17, he said, “Mine too”.  I called “BS” and demanded he produce his driver’s license.   Sure enough; it is May 17.

He then proceeded to tell me that he and two other guys he had met through business get together for lunch on or near their birthday each year.  He immediately invited my new assistant and me to come to the next lunch and we have never looked back.

The first time we talked at length about our similarities and differences and wondered aloud whether there was any truth to our horoscope.  We discussed the various celebrities that share our day, among them Bob Saget and Dennis Hopper.  As the years passed we learned about each other’s passions and families.

Some years we met in November too for our half birthday just to catch up with each other.  Last year our spouses joined us for dinner to honour the 65th of one member and the 50th of another.

We have representation from four decades and we always discuss our ages and how time marches on.  (For years one member has stated his age as X “US” (generally giving him at least a 20% advantage!)) This year I told the group that I’m 17 for the third time!

We’ve witnessed many life changes.  One year a member lost his mother just before our meeting.  The following year he lost his father.  I remember him calling himself an orphan that year.  The next year we celebrated the birth of his first grandchild.

There have been graduations from Kindergarten , high school, and university.  We have witnessed career changes, once-in-a-lifetime vacations and acquisitions of businesses and property.  We have had births, deaths and weddings to discuss. Next year a new baby will be coming to the lunch.

This week we marveled at how our lives have evolved, all the fun we’ve had meeting with each other, and how quickly the years have passed.

Happy Birthday to my fellow May 17ers.  You have greatly enriched my life.  I am privileged to have lunched with you all these years.  I feel like I have found a family.  I sure hope we’re still meeting in 20 years.

And if your birthday is also May 17, you are automatically a member.  Drop me a line and we will gladly include you in the festivities next year.  It’s bunches of fun, but that’s just One Woman’s Opinion.

Reading Record 2013: Includes Tips to Read More Books

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booksAt 10 PM on December 31, 2013 I finished my 104th book of 2013, achieving my ambitious reading goals for the seventh straight year.

My life continues to be enriched beyond my expectations because of a decision I made seven years ago to read a book each week.

Three years later, it became two books per week.

I’ve toyed with upping it to three each week but if the goal is too arduous, it may no longer appeal and I am sure to flounder. I’m shooting for 1000 books in ten years, which means I have just over three years to read 422 books. I’ll give it a go and see what happens. In the short-term I plan to read 22 books in January 2014, to reach an even 600.

Let me tell you about the last 104 (in 2013) of the 578 books I read from January 2007 to December 2013.

In past years I have read about 50% fiction and 50% non-fiction. This year fiction accounted for only 30% of my reading. Another 25% are particular to business and marketing. A significant number are health related.

At the beginning of 2013 I set out to read some important works, including The Holy Bible, The Holy Quran and The Book of Mormon. I was intrigued to see for myself what these influential books had to say. I was surprised by the Quran’s early references to respecting Jews and those who follow Jesus, leaving me to wonder from where the “kill the infidel” mentality comes.

In an unusual move, I finally abandoned the Book of Mormon after reading 60% of it. I could no longer force my eyes to look at words that carried no real meaning or purpose. I actually avoided books for a month because I dreaded getting back to The Book of Mormon. I wonder how many of my Mormon friends have read it cover to cover. For the record, it is just the second book I’ve abandoned in seven years.

I didn’t get to the Bible until January 2014; one of the few goals I missed in 2013. I have read most of it many times but have I never gone cover to cover. (So far, I’m at Numbers!)

I read some great titles suggested by my book club, including A House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout, a woman from my hometown, on her kidnapping and confinement in Somalia for over a year.

As always my book club expanded my reading horizons. These ladies are like sisters because we’ve shared so many experiences and had so many heart-to-hearts, usually, but not always related to our book of the month. I value our book discussions and the connections they spawn. Another highlight of my year was visiting a friend’s club and seeing the way they conduct their meetings. (They have rules! No non-fiction!)

Many of the best books I read this year were about speaking and writing, as I continually hone those skills. Paid to Speak (various authors) was a real gem. I recommend it for everyone, not just speakers. A friend loaned me Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg, and The Right to Write, by Julia Cameron. I plan to buy copies for myself. Coveting it for my own library is a sure sign of a book’s value.

I read 16 books on my nine-day vacation to the cottage, catching up on some classics like The Secret Garden and re-reading Heidi, a book I enjoyed reading when I was eight years old. Many of the classic titles are available for free online and they’re easy to carry in your favourite electronic device, perfect for vacations. I love paper books but e-books have their uses.

On another week vacation, I read ten books including some John Grisham novels. I enjoyed them well enough but I won’t seek more of his work.

I read some light stuff like The Sisters Brothers by Canadian author Patrick de Witt and The 100 Year-Old Man who Climbed out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson.

My reading habit sparks interesting conversations wherever I go. People love to tell me about their favourite reads. My to-read list has over 400 titles on it. As I lop off one, other readers suggest another two or three to add to the list.

Reading so much makes me appear to be educated. I suppose I am but I don’t have the piece of paper to verify that I know stuff. No matter. It’s the knowledge and experience I crave, not the recognition.

Reading more does require different behaviour. I always carry a book with me as I encounter many stolen moments to read each day. I estimate that I read a book a month, simply waiting: in lines, for appointments, and for lunch dates or the school bus to arrive. Waiting for and on planes is like winning the reading lottery!

I have several books on the go at any given moment. This prevents “reader’s block”, moments when diving into a technical book doesn’t appeal but a good mystery would hit the spot. I also use technology by sourcing and reading books online.

I set specific times to read, like first thing in the morning, before my day bulldozes me into an unexpected direction. I also read before bed, a great way to quiet the mind and wind down for sleep.

Of course my TV viewing habits are different from others and I rarely see a movie. But I don’t feel the least bit deprived. My world is far richer and more satisfying than if I were mesmerized by mind-numbing so-called reality shows.

My book expenditures are amazingly sparse. I buy a few new ones (usually with gift cards) and a stack or two of used books each year. The rest are borrowed or gifted. I’ve learned to pass on books to others quickly. The more I give away, it seems, the more I receive.

When I started this journey I had no idea what I would experience. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.

I encourage you to set goals to read more books. It doesn’t have to be two per week. It could be one per month. I guarantee it will change your life for the better.

Happy Reading in 2014. Please recommend your favourite books.

See my 2013 list here

See 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007